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Learn Manners of Matrimonial Life

Ubqari Magazine - March 2014

Clothing and food are the rights of the wife. And in order to fulfill this right happily and openheartedly, it is a very pleasant duty of the husband to struggle. In order to fulfill this duty happily not only do you get a happy life in this world, rather a believer becomes deserving of rewards in the afterlife too.

The elegant culture and civilization that is preached by Islam can only come into being when we become successful in developing a clean and pure society. And in order to create a pure society it is important that you strengthen the familial system as much as you can and make it successful. The familial life begins by the sacred relationship of husband and wife. And the pleasance of this relationship is only possible when husband and wife both are aware of the duties and manners of the matrimonial life and when they are sincerely concentrating to fulfill these manners and duties.

Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH) had given instructions to a large congregation on the occasion of his farewell pilgrimage:

”People! Listen!! Treat your women fairly, because they are with you like prisoners. You do not have any right to treat them harshly; except when they disobey you openly. If they do something like this then stay away from them in your bedrooms. And when you beat them, do not beat them so harshly that they get injured. And when they start obeying you then do not find ways to torture them. Look! Listen!! You have certain rights towards your wives and your wives have certain rights towards you. The right you have upon them is that they do not allow those men into your beds that you dislike. And that they do not let such people enter into your houses whose coming into your homes you despise. And listen! They have a right upon you that you feed them well and give them good clothes to wear.” (Riaz-us-Saaliheen)

Meaning that make such arrangements for their sustenance that creates affection, cordial relationship, and emotional intimacy between the spouses.

According to a hadith of Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH) , ”No Muslims should hate his wife, if there is a habit of the wife that he does not like, then perhaps there is another trait that he may like.”

Hazrat Ayesha  says,” I used to play with dolls at the place of Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH) and my friends also used to play with me. When Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH)  used to come, everyone would hide somewhere. Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH) would find each one of them and send them to me so that they could play with me.” (Bukhari)

The real sphere of judging your good manners and politeness is household life. One has to deal with family members all the time. And in the informal lifestyle of the house, every aspect of the temperament and manners comes forward. And this is a reality that only that believer is complete in his/her faith who treats his/her family members with good manners, broadmindedness, and benevolence; the one who encourages the family members and treat them with love and affection.

Please remember that clothing and food are the rights of the wife. And in order to fulfill this right happily and openheartedly, it is a very pleasant duty of the husband to struggle. In order to fulfill this duty happily not only do you get a happy life in this world, rather a believer becomes deserving of rewards in the afterlife too. It is a saying of Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH) ,”one dinar is that which you spend in the path of Allah, one dinar is that which you spend in freeing a slave, one dinar is that which you gave away as charity to a poor person, and one dinar is that you spent on your family members. The reward you get the most is in spending that dinar which you spent on your family members.” (Muslim)

Hazrat Abu-Huraira  has quoted that Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH) said, ”If a person has two wives and he did not treat them with justice and equality, then on the day of judgment that person will come in such a way that his half torso would be fallen apart.” (Tirmizi)

Justice and equality means to be evenhanded in affairs and dealings. On the issue that one has more inclination towards one wife as compared to another, then this is beyond the control of a normal human being. And Allah Almighty will not ask anything about this. In order to clarify the importance of a husband’s obedience and following him properly Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH) has warned the woman.

There are two types of people whose prayers do not rise higher than their heads. That slave’s prayer who absconds away from his master and till the time he/she returns back to the master. And that woman’s prayer who is disobedient to her husband, till the time she completely refrains from being disobedient. It is obligatory upon a woman to secure the house and property of her husband. After marriage a woman should think of the husband’s house as one’s own house. Use the monetary assets of the husband to increase the welfare of his house, to enhance his respect, and for a better future of their children. She should use the resources wisely and sparingly. She should consider the prosperity of the husband as her own prosperity. Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH)  has said while commenting on the qualities of a pious woman that, “For a believer the most precious blessing and gift of Allah after fear of Allah is a pious wife, that when he asks him to do something, she does it happily. And when he has a look at her, she makes him happy, and when he swears about something on her behalf, she fulfills the vow. And when he goes somewhere, she secures her respect and dignity, and in securing the property of the husband she should remain loyal to her husband.” (Ibn-e-Maaja)

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